July 2010


Author: Special To C2 Magazine | Photographer: Mark Staff

Dear Mom,

Sorry I haven’t written lately. Been swamped promoting my new movie! Decided to get away for a few days and do this “vacation” thing these humans are always talking about.

I tried out the hunting (although they call it “fishing”?) on my first day. Their methods are primitive, at best. They use rods with string and little silver things at the end. Oh well. When in Rome, right?

Parasailing was fun. My guide at H2O sports was a bit concerned about my weight in that parachute contraption but I assured him I had spent some time in the water before so it wasn’t a big deal if I fell in.

“Golf” is this game they play here. Everyone seems to love it but it seems masochistic to me. The human at the Fazio golf course told me it should take about four hours to get this ball in a little hole 18 times. It took me all day.

Kayaking was a challenge for me. I hardly fit in the tiny boat. Maybe I should have left my weapons at home. The guy in charge of this Kayak Hilton Head operation told us to look for dolphins. Evidently humans eat some of these water creatures but others are revered like pets? I don’t know. Seemed strange to me.

Bluffton was fun. I went to a Farmer’s Market and picked out some fresh fruits and vegetables. I’m not really sure what to do with them though.

Last night I went to Shelter Cove and watched a man sing to a bunch of little humans. The small humans are a lot more fun than the big ones. And they seem to like me more. Maybe I’ll bring one home so you can meet it.

Tonight I’m headed to a place called Eat! with the natives. The name was really what attracted me. I know what I’m supposed to do there.

I guess that’s it for now. I promise to call next week. Go see my movie.

Your Favorite Son,


  1. I’ve been a long time fan of the franchise and I have to tell you I absolutely loved this! Thanks for doing it.

    — Bridget Tunstall    Jul 8, 02:14 pm   

  2. This made my day great! I love it very funny and creative. Hope you make more guys.

    — Nazar Loun    Jul 13, 08:22 am   

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