October 2009

All Time Top Ten Funniest Movies for Girls (Or Any Other Living Thing with a Real Sense of Humor)

Author: Lindsey Hawkins

Here’s the real deal. Movies have been broken down into category after sub-category for decades, but it takes a ridiculous sense of humor to see the true genius in some of our most beloved comedic roles of all time. I believe I possess this amazing sixth sense and have thus written a brief commentary of the characters that define my top ten most hysterical movies of all time, in no particular order. Enjoy and keep in mind, I do mean ridiculous.

10. Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion (1997). In this flick, Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino depict two airheaded, fun-loving nobodies who try to become successful somebodies before their 10-year high school reunion. The role of the classic blonde ditz is hard to pull off as a genius performance in any script, but Lisa Kudrow as Michele Weinberge is hilarious and truly believable. When dumb becomes charming and you, the viewer, realize that being clueless would be a much more satisfying existence than your current state, the actress has done her job. I have seen it pulled off one other time and that was Reece Witherspoon in Legally Blonde. Both characters make me want to color my hair blonde and never “get it.”
Quotable Pee-Your-Pants Conversation:
Romy: Swear to God, sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
Michele: Do you want to try to have sex sometime just to see if we are?
Romy: What? Yeah, right, Michelle. Just the idea of having sex with another woman creeps me out. But if we’re not married by the time we’re 30, ask me again.
Michele: Okay.

9. Coming to America (1988). In this classic, Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall play an African prince and his right-hand man who decide to fly across the ocean to Queens, New York, to literally find his future queen, preferably a woman of intellect and grace. Eddie Murphy playing anyone is freaking hilarious, but as Prince Akeem and a few other cameo roles, he is genius. Murphy’s main character is in awe of the quality of life in Queens in the,’80s on his journey to true love that entails a respectable job at a fast food restaurant, great advice from a local barber (played by Murphy), plenty of ghetto-fied blind dates, hustlers and a whole lot of afro sheen.
Quotable Pee-Your-Pants Conversation:
Prince Akeem: Sir, did you happen to catch the professional football contest on television last night?
Cleo McDowell: No, I didn’t.
Prince Akeem: Oh sir, the Giants of New York took on the Packers of Green Bay. And in the end, the Giants triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big “H.” It was a most ripping victory.
Cleo McDowell: Son.
Prince Akeem: Yes?
Cleo McDowell: If you want to keep working here, stay off the drugs.

8. Uncle Buck (1989). John Candy stars as Uncle Buck in this family comedy in which he plays the family eyesore of an uncle who is asked to babysit his rebellious teenage niece and her little twin brother and sister. His lack of hygiene and knowledge of raising children is beyond funny as he attempts to cook, do laundry and discipline the kids.
Quotable Pee-Your-Pants Conversation:
Buck: Hey, I stopped smoking cigarettes.
Cindy Russell: Oh, good.
Buck: Isn’t that something? I’m on to cigars now. I’m on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I’m on to that nicotine gum.

7. Elf (2003). Will Ferrell plays Buddy, an oversized elf that finds out he is a human and must leave the North Pole to find his biological father in New York City. It’s Will Ferrell and that’s all you need to know.
Quotable Pee-Your Pants Conversation:
Buddy: This place reminds me of Santa’s workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms… and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me…
[in a public restroom, looking over the wall into the neighboring stall] Have you seen these toilets? They’re GINORMOUS!

6. Wedding Crashers (2005). Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson play best friends, Jeremy Grey and John Beck, who have an annual habit of crashing wedding after wedding in order to score vulnerable single woman and delicious crab cakes. Generally speaking, these actors are an even match, but in this flick, Vaughn takes the Oscar. With cameos by super comics like Will Ferrell and Christopher Walkin, Wedding Crashers might be one of the most hilarious movies ever created.
Quotable Pee-Your-Pants Conversation:
Janice: I’ve got the perfect girl for you!
Jeremy Grey: [sigh] Janice, I apologize to you if I don’t seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don’t like the feeling. You’re sitting there, you’re wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I’m not really interested, should I play like I’m interested but I’m not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she’s not interested? So all of the sudden I’m getting, I’m starting to get interested… And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door, ’cause then it’s awkward, it’s like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out ’cause you’re trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don’t kiss them at all? It’s very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you’re just really wondering, “Are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called ‘just the tip?’ Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you’re on my hair?’”

5. SuperBad (2007). Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse star as Seth, Evan and Fogell (a.k.a McLovin) in the most ridiculous comedy of all time. You know it’s super hilarious when you can’t pick a funniest of the funniest new acting talent in Hollywood. This crazy coming of age flick highlights the true focus of all teenage to young adult transitions: sex, parties and fake ID’s.
Quotable Pee-Your-Pants-Conversation:
Seth: I joined this class because I thought I was going to be cooking with a partner. But she’s never here, and I don’t get twice the grades for doing all the work.
Teacher: I didn’t invent odd numbers, Seth.
Seth: I know, but look at Evan. Just look at him.
Evan: [His partner is tying on his apron] Hey, don’t keep me waiting much longer; I’m getting impatient up here.
Seth: I’m over here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that. That looks like the most fun I’ve ever seen in my entire life, and it’s B.S.—excuse my language. I’m just saying that I wash and dry; I’m like a single mother. Look, we all know home-ec is a joke (no offense); it’s just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it’s bull**** and I’m sorry. I’m not putting down your profession, but it’s just the way I feel. I don’t want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this sh**y food (no offense ), and I just think that I don’t need to cook tiramisu. Am I going to be a chef? No. There’s three weeks left of school, give me a f***in’ break! I’m sorry for cursing.
Teacher: All right, Jules’ partner isn’t here either; pair up with her, station four.
Seth: Jules? Alright I’ll give it another shot—give home-ec another shot.

4. Dumb and Dumber (1994). Seriously, this has to be Jim Carrey at his best! It was definitely the highlight of Jeff Daniels’ career, but the duo as Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne is comic genius at its dumbest. Nothing beats two best friends searching for food, jobs and heads to their pets, not to mention chasing love, being good citizens and putting laxatives in tea. This movie better take your breath away or you’re not human.
Quotable Pee-Your-Pants Conversation:
Harry: I can’t believe we drove around all day, and there’s not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd: Yeah! Unless you wanna work 40 hours a week.
Lloyd: Excuse me, Flo?
[Harry and Lloyd crack up]
Lloyd: Flo, like the TV show. Uh, what is the Soup Du Jour?
Flo, Waitress #1: It’s the soup of the day.
Lloyd: Mmmm. That sounds good. I’ll have that.

3. National Lampoons Vacation (1983). I don’t care who you are, Chevy Chase is the only ingredient needed in the recipe for comedic gold mine! Michael Anthony Hall as a geeky young comic is not a bad condiment to add either.
Vacation tells the tale of the Griswold’s family road trip in a beat-up station wagon cross-country to Walley World theme park. If strapping your dead Aunt Edna to the top and visiting your cousin Eddie’s radiation exposed trailer to meet his wacky family doesn’t do it, try a little cameo by John Candy for a few hard laughs.
Quotable Pee-Your-Pants Conversation:
Cousin Eddie: I don’t know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don’t you, Clark?
Clark: You’re the gourmet around here, Eddie.
Aunt Edna: Clark, Dinkins needs a long walk and a bath.
Clark: Rusty, take care of Dinkins.
Rusty: Dad, he bites.
Clark: Bite him back.

2. Step Brothers (2008). Again, Will Ferrell, need I say more? Okay, John C. Riley is his stepbrother in this movie, and just like Talladega Nights, this flick is non-stop laughs with little breathing ability. Two immature, spoiled 40-year-old losers, Brennan and Dale, who still live at home, become stepbrothers when their parents get hitched and move in together. They are forced to share, for the first time, which is way more hilarious than it sounds. Trust me!
Quotable Pee-Your-Pants Conversation:
Brennan Huff: If you were a chick, who’s the one guy you’d sleep with?
Dale Doback, Brennan Huff: John Stamos.
Dale Doback: [stomps foot] What?
Brennan Huff: Did we just become best friends?
Dale Doback: Yep.
[they high five each other]
Brennan Huff: Do you wanna do karate in the garage?
Dale Doback: Yep.

1. Fletch (1985). Chevy Chase as undercover journalist Irwin Fletcher is a riot! First, it’s Chevy Chase; second, it’s his classic under the breath humor that you see in every hilarious National Lampoon adventure. Chase poses as a junky in order to get to the bottom of a local underground drug trafficking investigation. It leads to several unforgettable relationships, including a tight bond with a black, homeless junky named Gummy. Please go buy this for your collection pronto!
Quotable Pee-Your-Pants Conversation:
Records Nurse: Oh, Doctor, are you alright?
Fletch: Where am I?
Records Nurse: You’re in the records room.
Fletch: The records room? Oh, then I’m fine.
Records Nurse: Can I get you something?
Fletch: Yeah, do you have the Beatles’ White Album? Never mind, just get me a glass of hot fat. And bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia while you’re out there.

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